Friday, 4 April 2025

4th - 6th April 2025 Post Comment Love

Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.

Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.

It's been all systems go in the garden with planting seeds. There has been a visit to the charity shop to drop off bags of stuff that has been accumulating in the lounge for over a month now and the house has been readied for Grandson, son and dog who will have arrived from their overnight trip on the boat from Northern Ireland by the time I get back from work at 4pm.





We're collecting granddaughter tomorrow and heading off on the Grufflo trail whilst son is at the football and on Sunday Peter and I are taking the dog up the Malvern Hills and cooking a roast, while son and grandson are off doing the rounds visiting family. When they get back we'll be having some easter treats also.

I'm off work on Monday as it will be the 6 month anniversary of Stephanie's death and I'll get some extra time before they head home on the boat. Next time I see them all in May there will be another grandson joining the family. DIL has stayed at home with the other dog as there is less than 3 weeks to go before she gives birth.

We'd also appreciate your help spreading the #PoCoLo word on Twitter, tag us and we'll RT. You can find us on twitter here: Stephanie - @BosworthLife and Suzanne - @ChickenRuby 

I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days. 




Want to find out more about Post Comment Love #PoCoLo? 




Tuesday, 1 April 2025

The good bits of March 2025

Things that made me laugh:

World Book Day - Where's Wally?

Took granddaughter out for the day, we got 200 yards from the house and she said 'I miss my mummy and daddy' I said I missed her daddy too. I then asked her, if her daddy missed me as his mummy' and she said 'no he doesn't, he's a grown up now' She then thought for a moment and said ' I wonder how my mummy and daddy will manage without me while I'm out with you'

I've had the flu, I can name the student I caught it from as I did end up sending them home after throwing a box of tissues at them yelling, cover your mouth when coughing and cough into the tissue, their response was 'I thought tissues were only for sneezing into'

I took this photo outside Birmingham Football Club and sent it to the family chat. The middle two boys recognised it straight away. Neither of them knew I was going to the match. But recognised the fence from 2009 that Peter reversed into and they've never let him live it down.


Places we visited:

Our Granddaughter and brand-new grandson.

Football. I finally got myself back to St Andrews to watch Birmingham City play twice.


I managed a nights camping.

Peter spent two weeks with his friend in Turkey.

We visited Peter's mum, his niece and great nephew.

Things we did at home:

Furniture got moved. Well the desk moved from the lounge to the dining room. The sideboard moved from the dining room to the bedroom giving us more space for our clothing, freeing up a double wardrobe in the spare room for when the family come to stay. 


There was a tip run with a double mattress that my friend helped me load into the car. Material got dropped into school for textile lessons. A pile of books for mum and a load of stuff for the charity shops. 

The loft rooms were rearranged and I've now got space to start sorting through the last of my father's belongings.


I started work on the garden and I moved the green house, weeded the raised beds and planted some seeds and rearranged the patio area.



We celebrated the cats 16th birthday.


How was your March? Did you get up to much?

Sunday, 30 March 2025

Week 13 2025 One Daily Positive and Project 365

I was off work until Friday. After a trip to A&E on Sunday, a drip and morphine, I woke on Monday morning with head pain. Straight to the GP and more meds. I rattle. I'm still not feeling right.

After searching for counselling and not being dragged into places I didn't want to be, I finally found my thing. A therapist at a Well Being Centre. I thought I’d booked a chiropractor. Nope. Had phoned wrong person, but this was better. Swedish massage. 75mins of pure bliss for £60. Back, neck, arms and head. And therapy thrown in. She was brilliant. I talked, I cried and I feel so much better physically and mentally. Booked in every Monday after work for 6 weeks.

Day 83
GP first thing, more tablets. Woke with throbbing headache after 4 hours sleep. All I managed today was to cook a roast and these fabulous Yorkshire puddings which I’m rather pleased with. The rest I froze. Rest of the day spent in bed or dozing on the sofa.

Day 84
Today I found my thing. I visited a well being clinic. I found the number looking for holistic support for my migraine. I had the most amazing 60+minute massage and therapy session. I could feel all the physical and emotional tension leaving my body. I talked, I cried. Peter arrived home mid afternoon. He chilled out on the sofa, I tucked into one of my presents and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening resting in bed.

Day 85 
Literally got out of bed to eat today. I know what’s going on, I can process it, I can see the road ahead, only I can ‘snap out of it’ but it’s not that easy’ there’s nothing to snap out of, I’m having to adjust and learning to live with grief, it’s complicated, you don’t just ‘get on with it’ you don’t just adapt to it. Video call with this cutie. There will be real life cuddles next week.

Day 86
We popped out to visit Peter’s mum and drop off her Mother’s Day gift and see our niece and great nephew for his 4th birthday and drop his present off also. Called in at Asda on the way home and I weeded the raised beds. Still got a perpetual headache, but if it’s not going to shift, I might as well just get on with life.

Day 87
The 2nd Mother’s Day gift to arrive, plus flowers from another son and thoughtful cards. It’s tricky trying to acknowledge Mother’s Day as a daughter and a DIL whilst accepting that as a mum Stephanie is no longer with us. I went back to work today. Had a meeting with HR to discuss how everything is getting on top of me and its effect on my health. Work was quiet, apart from a fire drill. Maths and English tutoring 1:1 in the afternoon. Coffee with Peter after work and popped into the pub for half an hour with a friend and home for dinner and TV. 

Day 88
The day started very early as I was awake at 4am. At 9am I was planting some seeds. Peter and I then went for coffee. He dropped me at the train station and I headed up to Birmingham to watch #bcfc. Good result. Train home, read my book, bath, watched TV and early bed planned.

Day 89
We spent the day in the garden, I planted the fruit trees moving soil from the front garden to fill the pots, after I'd decided where I wanted all the pots to go. We popped out for coffee and bought a chicken which I cooked for dinner in the evening and we celebrated the cats 16th birthday. I had an early bath and had a video call with grandson and a phone call with a friend.

Things to make you smile:
We made our annual trip to McDonalds to buy a happy meal for the cats birthday, there was a present and a card.

I sent took this photo just outside St Andrews on my way to the match and sent it to the family group chat 'remember this fence?' Back in 2009, Peter had a new car with parking sensors, he told the kids that when then solid beep was heard there was still a couple of feet before he hit anything. He got a far as the word 'couple' before hitting the fence and they've never let him live it down. The two boys who were in the car that day didn't know I was going to the game on Saturday, but both recognised the fence and knew where I was.

Things that made me happy:
Gifts and cards from the children and grandchildren, finally getting out in the garden, magnolia, baking, medication to take the migraine away, Peter being home.


On the blog this week: 

Post Comment Love - You're welcome to link up with any post you've written this week on any subject.

Plans for Spring Gardening - Since writing the post, almost half the plans are complete.

Word of the Week - Triggers - I've no idea what is going to trigger me, when or where.

Saturday, 29 March 2025

Word of the Week - Triggers

Triggers

Every Monday morning sometime between 7.40 and 8am the bin lorry arrives. One week is the black bin, general waste for landfill, the following week is the green bin for recycling.

Every Monday morning around this time I'm stood in the kitchen at the window, making my latte and putting my lunch together and preparing to leave for work.

I've had this routine, every day during term time since March 2022.

On Monday 7th October 2024 at 7.43am the bin lorry drove into view. I took this photo for our grandson and sent it to him in Northern Ireland. He loves bin lorries. I finished making my coffee and I drove to work, parked up in the staff car park and got on with my working day.


I left work at 1pm, collected Peter and we drove to the hospital where Stephanie had been taken after being unwell that morning. We got home that evening at 9pm and our lives had changed forever.

Stephanie, our eldest child had died, without warning, no illness, no long term health problems that indicated this would happen. Here one minute and then no more.

Every Monday morning the bin lorry arrives in our street. I stand in the kitchen window making my latte and putting my lunch together and prepare to leave for work, just as I did every other Monday morning and every other day. But now, I do so with a heavy heart. I dread Monday mornings, even more so, black bin days. I dread Sunday nights when the bins go out. I dread Fridays at the end of the week as I know Monday is coming and I dread Tuesday mornings, because I know that there is only 6 more days without the bin lorry before I get triggered again.

Outside our front door is a pot full of tulips. They're another trigger. The bulbs were given to us by a friend, they're called Angel Wings. I planted them with our 5 year old Granddaughter the day after Stephanie's funeral. As she watered them she said 'stay hydrated Stephanie' I hear her voice and I'm taken back to that day, every time I step outside the front door. I waited every day for them to flower. I wanted them to flower for Stephanie's birthday in February. They've started to flower now, in time for Mother's Day.


Mother's Day. Now that's been a trigger I hadn't considered. It's hit me smack, bang in the face. I still have two mums to buy for. I still have 4 sons to be a Mother to. I'd seen all the promotional emails giving me the option to opt out of. I'd not given it a second thought and it appears no one else had either, why would or should they? I'm still a mum, I still have a mum and a MIL. Stephanie's absence is even greater.

Hospitals and ambulances trigger me. I had several medical appointments within a short space of time after Stephanie died. Going into hospital was horrendous. It wasn't the same hospital, but nether the less, it was triggering. I ended up in hospital on Sunday. I sat quietly, I couldn't switch my brain off, but I practiced my breathing exercises and knew I had to be where I was, I couldn't avoid it. I had to deal with a medical emergency in work a few weeks back, it was mentally, physically and emotionally draining, but I was on auto pilot throughout. Once the paramedics took over, I was an absolute wreck. The incident was too similar to the last moments I spent with Stephanie before they rushed her into theatre.

I don't always know what the triggers are going to be though. I can be in a supermarket and be triggered by a 6 pack of donuts that I can no longer buy and drop in. Or in a clothes shop and see a jumper with a tight waist band that would be ideal for her that would stop her pulling it up and flashing her belly. Or in a toy shop and see a rattle that doesn't look like a baby toy and isn't too hard and won't hurt anyone when she tires of playing with it and lobs it in their direction. Or I see the perfect drinking cup that won't leak in her bag when we're out and about. None of which I can no longer buy, yet I still automatically reach for, because apart from the donuts, they're rare finds and were always on my list of things to look out for and now I see them everywhere.

I can move the flower pot, I can change my morning routine, but I can't stop the bin lorry coming, I still have to leave the house by 8am for work. I can't avoid things that trigger me, maybe time will change this for me, maybe it won't. Maybe I'll just get better at dealing with the triggers. Some days, weeks are better than others, sometimes there are too many triggers altogether, like there have been this week.

Hospital, bin lorry, Mother's Day, pictures in the local paper and online of a student at the school I work in who died over Christmas, the tulips flowering. It's just all been a bit too much.


Word of the Week linky

Friday, 28 March 2025

28th - 30th March 2025 Post Comment Love

Welcome back to #PoCoLo with Stephanie from Bosworth.Life and I.

Post Comment Love #PoCoLo is a friendly weekly linky where you can link up any blog post you've written this week. If you're new or a regular visitor we're sure you'll find something of interest.

I've not had the best week, things don't always go to plan, but having the ability to adapt and not be disappointed is a great life lesson. I missed a job interview. I missed a camping trip. I missed a day out with my granddaughter, I missed cuddles with my new grandson.

Instead I had a day in hospital and numerous medical appointments and time off work and an endless migraine/headache.

But I also had some lovely video calls with family and friends and daily check ins. Milk, chocolate and flowers delivered and endless offers of help and a lift when needed.

Peter came home from his holiday in Turkey with presents. I had some lovely flowers from a friend and gifts for mother's day through the post from 2 of the kids and I'm back to work today. I'm off to the football tomorrow and we've a day of gardening planned on Sunday, starting with planting out my freshly weeded raised beds.


We'd also appreciate your help spreading the #PoCoLo word on Twitter, tag us and we'll RT. You can find us on twitter here: Stephanie - @BosworthLife and Suzanne - @ChickenRuby 

I'll be catching up with reading your posts, sharing and commenting over the next few days. 




Want to find out more about Post Comment Love #PoCoLo? 




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